chapter twelve: the last day of summer

I wonder how animal rights activists feel about animal crackers.

And the Random Thought of the Year Award goes to: Keavy Leigh Ashworth, age fifteen, also the five-time recipient of the Loser of the Year Trophy, and the Freak of the Week dishonor fifty-nine school weeks in a row.

I have only a few times in my life eaten animal crackers. They were never very important in my childhood. I was a kid stuck on homemade chocolate chip cookies for snacks. The ones my grandmother made all the time before she passed away when I was ten. I always ate chocolate ice cream with chocolate syrup on top, gagged on nuts and berries, always asked for chip-wiches before I discovered ice cream pints, and I ordered the pink baseball glove thing, with the gumball, from the ice cream man. Animal crackers were never really my thing.

And why are they called crackers, anyway? Crackers are known to be salty. You eat them with soup. I don't care what Shirley Temple sang. Animal crackers are too sweet to be eaten with soup. They're more like cookies than crackers. Little cookies, they are, shaped like wild animals. What's the first thing you do when you're eating these so-called crackers? You bite their head off. You can't not bite their head off first, its like against animal cracker laws. But I wonder how the animal lovers feel about these little cookies. I'd probably find them offensive. Like I've said before, it's bad enough we eat cows all the time, but to eat cookies that imitate other animals… it's just strange to me.

Like pancakes shaped like cactuses. What's up with that?

I was sitting in my back yard when I accepted the Random Thought of the Year Award. The honor could have moved me to tears, but I wasn't psychotic enough for that. The fading grass was tickling my bare feet as I stretched my legs out over the ground a good twenty feet from the back door. Murphy was running around the yard, out closer to the woods digging new holes in the grass for the hell of it and jumping around, trying to catch what my family and I liked to call invisible flying mice. The cats chased them too, sometimes. I figured our pets were haunted, but I didn't know why. All I knew was that flying mice were haunting them.

I didn't hear it when Murphy barked at these… well, whatever they were, because I was had my CD player sitting beside me, playing my new Hanson CD through the headphones I had over my ears. It was good music that I was very sad to have missed out on these past few years. Some of it I recognized from the time that I had my first copy of the CD, but most of it was new to me all over again. I'd had 'Sure About It' on repeat, replacing five other tracks so far. It was my favorite. I could really relate to it, and couldn't wait to tell Zac.

That was so strange to me - I was sitting there listening to some great music and I knew the person who was playing the drums and singing mostly in the background at the time of recording it. He was a guy who'd been to the Grammy's and on MTV multiple times and performed on Saturday Night Live, things that aren't normal outside TV land - but he wasn't any of that to me. He was a guy. He was my friend. That was it. And it was crazy.

As I listened to the music, I sat there with my ass to the dirt and five hundred dollar camera in my lap. I felt like an idiot. I claimed to be a huge photography freak a lot of the time, but I hadn't brought my camera out since I was at camp in July. Now school was already back in session and the camera felt slightly foreign to my hands. But I put it to use as I sat there, easily remembering how to use it. I zoomed in on Murphy and took pictures of him chomping his big teeth at the air. I photographed the head of the trees against the blue sky and about an hour before that, I got a great shot of a ladybug when it landed on my toe. That to me was a perfect symbol of summer, and I really didn't want it to end.

But it had to. Of course it had to. And the good heat of it was starting to end early, because as I sat there in the backyard for a few hours entertaining myself with thoughts about animal crackers, my toes got cold. I wished for my shoes but I was too lazy to get up and go into the house to put them on. But when the rest of me started to get a bit chilly, I decided to go inside and get a hoodie. The song I had on repeat started over again as I stepped inside. My cold toes warmed up right away against the carpet, and I glanced back behind me at Murphy out in the yard. He didn't notice me leaving, so I figured I'd just leave him there while I went up to my room.

"Whoa… I'm definitely sure that I'm not sure… whoooa…" I quietly sang off key as I carried my camera and my CD player down the hall with me. I watched my toes as I walked, keeping them spread apart as I attempted to walk in the straightest line possible. I ended up losing my balance and I stumbled toward the steps. Then I tried to climb them two at a time, but my legs were too lazy to stretch that far.

"I'm sure about it… I'm definitely sure that I do surely doubt it. I wish that I could say that I was sure about it…" I found the hoodie I was looking for in my closet. It was the black Saves The Day one that I bought for fifty dollars the last time I saw them live. That hoodie was also the one that my mom found on top of some shelf the day we went shopping for school supplies. Still, to that very day, I had no idea how it wound up where she found it. Most likely, I'd thrown it across the room in some kind of frustrated fit and it just landed there. I hadn't looked to see where it ended up, so I didn't see it again for months.

I put down my camera and CD player to pull the oversized hoodie on over my head, and I also pulled it on over my headphones because the music distracted me. I realized what I'd done after my arms were already through the sleeves so I had to fumble to right what I'd done wrong. Pushing the hood back, I grabbed my headphones and pushed them back under the heavy shirt until they fell out of the bottom. They stayed where they were on the floor as I got out a pair of socks and pulled them on my feet, and then I pushed my jeans back so I could tie my red jogging shoes on.

After shoving my CD player into the pocket of my hoodie and putting my headphones back on, I rushed back downstairs and stopped in the kitchen to get a chocolate chip cookie on my way to the back door. Mom and I made them the night before. She came to me with a craving for something sweet, claiming that she wanted something but didn't feel like going out, so she asked me to help her make a batch of cookies. In this house, a batch of cookies equals four batches, but even though we made so many, almost half of them were gone in less than twenty four hours because of moments like these - though I stepped into the kitchen to grab just one cookie, I left with five.

It was Sunday now. The cookies seemed to be perfect, and they came just in time. Monday was hanging over my shoulders. Back to school again. I bitterly wondered why one week couldn't be enough as I shoved a whole cookie in my mouth. Crunch, crunch, crunch.

The weekend had been sadly uneventful. Zac came home from a one-night stay in Los Angeles, and he was supposed to come over with Mike and Penelope to pick me up and bring me back to his place for dinner and a swim, to hang out. But Zac's early flight home ended up being delayed almost six hours, which was absolutely ridiculous. He never found out why, though. He didn't get home until it was nearing midnight. I was bummed. The cookies helped.

I put them in a small plastic bag and probably left a thin trail of crumbs on my way to the back door. Murphy was sitting on the porch waiting for me, and his tail started going before I opened the door. I moved to follow him back out into the yard, but he ran inside barking at his invisible flying mice.

"Murphy," I called after him, pushing my headphones down. "Come on, boy, let's go outside."

I snapped my fingers trying to get his attention. He heard me - he always heard me, I could tell because his ear always cocked to the side a bit when I addressed him but he didn't always listen. He was dumb and distracted.

"Murphy," I demanded loudly, following him down the hall. I just wanted him to come with me. "Outside."

He went into the kitchen. I turned to follow him, but then I became distracted as well when the doorbell was rung. I stopped in the middle of the hall and stared at it as I reached into my hoodie pocket to turn my CD player off. The music stopped blaring from the headphones that hugged my neck and I wondered who could possibly be standing in my doorway at this time of day, when I had no life, my mother had no life (though this was her choice; the only people she had the opportunity to be friends with were morons and she had no patience), Nyx wasn't home, and Cal was in New York for some business thing.

Perhaps it was the UPS guy delivering a package or something from one of my many online friends I rarely talked to anymore, I figured as I walked to the door, then quickly remembered that it was Sunday. Nobody in their right minds would be out delivering a stupid package to stupid me on stupid Sunday, God's day, the stupid day of rest or whatever.

Then I decided to use the part of my brain where common sense lives and open the door to find out who was on the other side. And when I saw the curious smiling face standing between two others, I felt completely energized, like I'd already had the best day even though it had been quite boring. Just one look at his face and my day was made.

"Hey Keke," Zac said in a deepened voice, grinning at me. I slowly smiled back. Penelope and Mike were with him, standing a step behind him at his sides. Mike was trying to look past me into my house while Penelope waved happily.

"Hey guys," I greeted them, crossing my feet where I stood. "What's up?"

"We've come to kidnap you," Penelope said, smiling. I knew it was meant good-naturedly, but her words still gave me chills.

It took me a moment to reply, and all I could come up with was "…Oh?"

"Do you have a bathroom?" Mike asked suddenly. I looked at him now and observed the way he was standing. He was squirming a bit on his feet, with his knees together. He definitely had to pee.

But I just stared at him. What kind of question was that? Of course I had a bathroom. This was central suburban North America, the new millennium for crying out loud. And I lived in the biggest house in town. Not only did I have a bathroom but I had five.

When Penelope and Zac turned to stare at him as well, he shook his head. "I mean--can I use your bathroom?"

"Yeah," I said plainly, stepping aside. I pointed behind me down the hall that went past the staircase. "Down there. Last door on the right."

"Thank you," he said, running down the hall. But he sprinted away as he said it, so I only caught a faint whimper.

"He's been holding it all day," Zac said, watching him go. "Wanted to see how long he could. Dumbass."

Smiling at him, I conducted them into the house. Penelope stepped inside first, looking around, and Zac tagged behind her. He looked at me as he entered the house, and when our eyes met… it was strange. It felt like it was suddenly a slow-motion sequence. He rubbed his hands together as if they were cold and he stared me in the eyes with a smile on his face that made me feel like I was the only girl in the room. His gaze sparked something in me that I hadn't felt before as he gave me a look that until then I had yet to see him give to me - or anyone, for that matter. His lips were pursed in a smile that looked so boyish and shy, and it gave the impression that he wanted to look down in his bashfulness. But his eyes were focused on my face. He looked at me like… as if he liked me. Like… he liked me.

And I liked it. A lot. It was exciting, even though I knew for a fact that I was most likely just imagining it. It was still fun.

"So what are we doing today?" Penelope asked, unzipping her blue track jacket. She and Mike both had on longer sleeves like me, but Zac just stood there in a blank gray t-shirt with a pocket at the breast. I pushed the front door shut.

Zac seemed reluctant to look away from me as he shrugged. "Just hanging out as far as I know. Whatever we were going to do last night." He looked at me again, smiling. "What're you up for?"

Staring at him, I slowly shrugged. "Anything."

"I like the sound of that."

"We should go see a movie," Penelope chirped.

"What movie?" I asked, fixing my curly hair under the pretense of scratching my head.

Penelope threw her hands up. "I don't know. I haven't seen American Wedding yet."

"Me, neither," Zac said.

I shrugged again. "I never saw American Pie 2."

"We should go rent it! And then go see American Wedding."

"Eh. I didn't really like American Pie to begin with."

"Or we could see that skate movie. Adam Brody is in it. He's yummy."

"Right," Zac mumbled giving her a look. He started to add something to that but then Mike bounded down the hall loudly, interrupting him.

"Woo!" he said sighing. "I hate peeing. It's such a god damned waste of my time."

"It sure is," Zac said as if Mike's words totally made sense. "So, Mike - movie?"

"Freddy vs. Jason all the way."

"Hell yeah," he agreed, nodding his head.

"Dude, did you know they're going to do Alien vs. Predator next summer?"

Zac's jaw dropped. "No way!"

"Yes way."

"And on behalf of these concepts, half of the planet is just a little bit stupider than I thought," I said under my breath. Penelope heard me and nodded solemnly in agreement.

The boys looked at us girls expectantly as we exchanged very unenthusiastic looks.

"No, please." Penelope rolled her eyes.

"I second that," I said. "I just really don't want to see Freddy vs. Jason."

"Why not?" Zac pouted.

"Do we really have to answer that question?" I asked with a laugh as I walked into the kitchen to get a drink. The others followed behind me and as I opened the fridge Zac perched himself atop the counter much like that night he got rained in. It made me smirk as I grabbed a Capri-Sun. "I may be rich but I will not pay money to see that trash. No offense. Anybody else thirsty?"

"Got any coke?" Mike asked.

I tossed him a can, and he caught it easily. Penelope wanted one too so I did the same, which sparked a silly argument between the two of them because Mike accused her of being a copycat. And when I turned to Zac he asked for what I was having, so I handed him a pouch of wild cherry Capri-Sun. He had trouble with the straw so I stepped up to help as the other two bickered behind me.

"I guess you've never had one of these before?" I asked absently as I took it from him.

He shook his head. "Nope. I just drink cola and Kool-aid. Big on sugar."

I smiled. "That a drummer thing?"

He laughed. "Probably."

I held it up so he could see as I turned the straw around. I punched it easily into the little hole, breaking the seal. "It goes like that… you just have to point it a certain way. The straw, I mean."

"I see," he said. He reached up to take it from me, and a few of his fingers clamped around my hand. I felt and saw calluses on his fingers. They looked like my sister's, which she got from four years of guitar playing.

I expected him to just take the pouch away but his hand lingered on mine for a few seconds, strangely drawing me in. I raised my eyes to him and saw he was staring down at his hand. Then he looked up at me suddenly, and I realized that my stomach was against his leg. I was standing very close to him. Freaking out on the inside, I just handed him the juice pouch and stepped away, blushing furiously. I went back to the fridge and closed the door before leaning against it and grabbing my own Capri-Sun. Feet crossed, I folded my arm under the other and just sipped from the straw, not saying a word as I allowed my hair to fall in my face a bit. Zac was too cute for me to handle.

"So what are we doing?" Mike whined, swaying on his feet like an impatient child.

As he said this, the front door swung open. From where I was standing I was the only one who could see it, though we all heard it. It Nyx came inside and pushed it to shut loudly behind her as she ran upstairs, saying a quick "Hi" to me on her way. I peered around the doorway to watch her go. She was dressed in a very strange get up - her big sunglasses along with a long-rimmed hat and a long red coat. She went into her room, but I didn't hear the door shut when she went in. This meant she wasn't staying.

"What's going on?" Penelope asked curiously, peering around the corner next to me.

"Not sure," I said, finally removing the straw from my mouth. Nyx came out of her room then, closing the door behind her, and ran down the stairs shouting a quick good-bye at me.

Curiosity got the better of me. "Where on earth are you goin', Carmen San Diego?" I asked in a singsong voice, to the theme of the old TV show I mentioned.

Nyx stopped in the hall and looked at me through her dark sunglasses. Her hair was tucked into her hat and she was carrying her guitar case. "OKC," she told me. "Who's that?"

"My friend Penelope," I told her as Penelope waved hello. I would have introduced Nyx, but I was way too distracted by her outfit.

"You're very popular lately," Nyx said to me. "Bringing all these friends home… I guess that's your car outside, the green one?"

"No, that's-"

A loud car horn honked outside, interrupting her. "Ah!" Nyx cried, and continued to the door. "I have to go. See you next weekend Keavs!"

Nyx disappeared very quickly, leaving me to glare after her among my friends. "Whatever," I mumbled, turning around. But I jumped when I saw all three of them lined up behind me, looking around curiously. Zac gave me an inquiring look. "My sister, Nyx," I told them. Zac lightly punched his fist into his hand in disappointment. "Apparently, she believes today is Halloween."

"I keep missing her. I'm never going to get to meet her, am I?"

I hated how eager he was about it. Sighing, I shook my head. "I don't know, but you're better off that way."

Phantom Planet dominated the music conversation when Mike brought up the fact that their drummer, Jason Schwartzman, recently left the band. "Have they found a new drummer yet?" he asked.

Zac shrugged next to me, shoving a fry into his mouth. "I think so, but I don't know who."

"I thought Farrah was the one who liked them?" I said, picking at my burger.

"We all do," Mike said. "They're like the glue of the world, man. As far as I'm concerned, we're living on a phantom planet."

Zac gave him a stupid look and threw a fry at his face. "You dick. That was so cheesy."

"And greasy, apparently," Mike said, eating the fry. "Mmm, grease!"

"Well, I guess I can say that Alex Greenwald is my new favorite Phantom Planster," Penelope said with a sigh. "Since Jason is gone."

"Aww." I giggled sympathetically at her sad face.

"Well wait, I like Darren before Alex… hmm."

I pulled at the sleeves of my hoodie as she thought this over. When my arms were out, I pulled it up over my head and set it in the space between Zac and I. "What about Jacques?" I asked. "He's cool."

She shook her head. "For me, it was Jason, Darren, Alex, Sam and Jacques. Now I guess its Darren, Alex, Sam and Jacques." Penelope pretended to sob. "God, that sounds so wrong!"

Zac was laughing at her. Mike patted her shoulder distractedly. "You can still love Jason," he said, shaking his head at her.

"Darren, Alex, Sam, Jacques and… new guy." Penelope scowled. "New guy I like the least."

"I wonder who they got," I said with a sigh as I picked up my burger. I leaned down to bite it as she started up again with another rant.

"Damnit, I wish I could play the drums," she whined. "Zac, teach me how to play. Then I'll fly out to California and try out for the band… and they'll have to kick the new guy out because I'll be cooler than him."

"Uh-huh," Zac mumbled, distracted by his shrimp. I giggled and when he heard me he looked over and grinned at me.

"If I was in the band, who would you like better?" Penelope asked the whole table, but looked at me first. "Me, or Alex?"

"Alex, hands down," Zac said right away. As Mike laughed, she balled up her dirty napkin and threw it at the boy next to me.

"Dude!" Mike shrieked, eyes wide. "I just got the best idea. We have to stop at the supermarket on the way back to Keavy's."

We tried to get Mike to tell us about this idea and the reason behind the trip to the supermarket, but he wouldn't tell us the details there in the restaurant. When we left, he drove Zac's car with Penelope in the driver's seat while Zac and I took up the back.

"Oh man, guess what song is in my head?" Zac asked randomly, laughing.

"I give innnnnnnnnnnnn," Mike started singing. I didn't recognize the song until he sang the next part, "I GIVE UUUUPPPPPP!" It was a Phantom Planet song, 'All Over Again' one of those songs that held the world together as he'd said. Zac didn't say anything until after he sang a good portion of the song. "You splash… ed! And you started siiiiinkingggg. Aaand yooooooouuuuu… you're dragging me dooooownnnnnn. AAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL OVER AGAIN-"

"Nope," Zac finally answered casually.

"I don't know." Mike shrugged.

"You'll never guess."

He ignored him. "I GIVE INNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!"

"What is it?" Penelope asked, clamping her hand over Mike's mouth.

"Guess!"

"Give me a hint."

"Li-li-lick."

"Well, it's obvious that you're gross."

"Anyway!"

"Hot Hot Heat? Le-Le-Low? Le… something… le something."

"No. What are you, French?"

"Give me another hint!" she whined as she sat back.

"Garden."

I laughed. "What kind of hint is that?"

Zac just grinned. "You're never going to guess."

"Savage Garden?" Penelope guessed.

"No."

This little guessing game went on all the way to the supermarket. Penelope kept guessing as Mike drove, and Zac gave vague hints but never revealed the song. One of her guesses sparked a thought from Mike which they went on to discuss, all of them totally forgetting about Zac's song. I stared out the window mostly because the world moving by always distracted me when I was in the car. I just sat there listening and observing. I didn't mind.

The chatter stopped briefly as we pulled into the parking lot of the market and got out. I pulled my hoodie back on before closing the door and after I did that I walked to join up with Mike and Penelope. If I'd noticed Zac walking around the back of the car, I wouldn't have jumped when his arm was suddenly draped across my shoulders. He laughed at my startled face and I grinned, elbowing him in the gut. We walked like that into the cold air of the supermarket and it was then that Mike revealed his idea. Apparently, he was going to purchase four cans of whipped cream and four bottles of chocolate syrup and we were going to have a battle in my back yard. He looked to me for protests but I just grinned.

It wasn't very crowded inside. We all kind of separated around the aisle Mike lead us too. Penelope helped him get the supplies into his basket while I wandered down to the other end. They argued about something but their voices were merely echoes to me as I stared at the cookies on the shelf. The song that was playing overhead reminded me of a Rilo Kiley song which then became stuck in my head.

"And I can do the Frug," I sang under my breath. "I can do the Robocop… I can do the Freddie… I cannot do the Smurf," I strode down the isle, running my fingertip over the price stamps without reading them. "And I can hate your girl… I can tell you that she's real pretty… I can take my clothes off-"

"Can you, now?"

I jumped again and whirled around. Zac was standing behind me, grinning widely. I gave him a weird look as my face heated up and I glanced around. Nobody else was there. I spotted something over his shoulder and jumped at the change of subject. "Animal crackers," I cried, picking up the box. "And look at that. In the cookie aisle. I knew it."

"Animal crackers." Zac shrugged. "So?"

"Well, I was having a thought earlier…"

"About Animal crackers?"

I nodded. "Mm-hmm. And here they are, in the cookie isle."

He smiled. "You are strange. What was your thought?"

"Well, I was thinking, you know…" I turned on one foot to face him again. "How do animal rights activists feel about animal crackers? Because you know how like… when people eat them, the first thing they do is usually just bite their heads off. If you think about it, metaphorically, it's a form of animal cruelty. And, you know!" I held up the box and pointed. "They single out the monkey."

"…How, exactly, do they do this?"

I bit my lip. I was just babbling for time to get over my suffered embarrassment of him hearing me sing and all of the weird moments we'd shared before then that day. Things seemed weird and during dinner I feared that a crush was starting to form for me. I tried to shrug it off as something casual because he was just a gorgeous guy, and he was so nice and sweet and funny and he treated me so well, completely and utterly equal despite the fact that I was three years younger than him. But it didn't work very well because he was a gorgeous guy and he was so nice and sweet and funny and he treated me like an equal despite our age difference. It was confusing. I didn't know what the hell I was feeling because I'd never felt it before.

I decided then, that it had to be some kind of fluke. There was no other reasonable explanation. I was PMS-ing… emotions were running wild. It was as simple as that. Seriously. No fooling.

I cleared my throat, looking at the box of animal crackers. "Well, he's wearing those shorts."

Zac stared.

"None of the other animal crackers wear clothes." The second I said this I felt this weird sense of deja vu. Like I'd heard that little bit about the Monkey animal cracker before. I probably had, somewhere on TV.

"Right." Zac was still smiling, looking very genuine. "Well, at the risk of sounding like a broken record… you are strange."

I sat there in the grass with a huge smile on my face as I ate from my box of animal crackers. Zac was seated beside me, finishing off his whipped cream bottle by eating half of it and crowning me with it - he drew a big circle around the top of my head while I sat there like nothing was happening. I glanced at him and grinned as he pulled out a cracker from the box and tossed it up in the air. He leaned back and caught it with his mouth. He was just as dirty as I was, if not dirtier.

"Too bad we're not at my house," Zac told me. "Then we could just go swimming to rinse this crap off."

"Yeah, I know," I nodded. "Would be much easier."

"But my parents would never allow us to do something like this." He laughed. "Your Mom is so cool. Did you know, you look just like her? It's almost scary how much you do."

I smiled. "Yeah, I get that a lot. And then when people meet my Dad, they say I look nothing like him."

"Do you?"

"I don't know. I don't really care, either. I mean, he doesn't mean much to me. Other than… well, you know. I just don't care."

He nodded slowly, growing quiet for a bit.

"So you have to close the pool up soon, huh?" I asked, returning to his original subject.

"Yeah, it's starting to get cold… the leaves are falling fast. I have to clean it like every day or they pile up. Dad's trying to talk me into closing it this weekend, but I don't know if I can part with it," he laughed. "I won't be here for it next summer."

"Yeah," I said quietly, slowly munching on an animal cracker.

"So what are you doing this week?"

"Oh… you know… I'm just kind of focusing on survival right now." Zac cocked his eyebrow at my answer. "I really don't know if I'll make it out of another school week alive. Nobody seems to want to let up on the Baker Street mockeries."

"Ah, just ignore them," Zac said with a roll of his eyes. He shook his head.

"I know, but it's hard. They just make a big deal out of everything I do. They seriously need to grow up."

"Just try to like… keep your chin up. Sounds dumb, but seriously… they are just morons. You know something they don't know. Just be all like… cool and mysterious. They're just kids. Don't let them decide how you should feel about yourself."

I gave him a hopeful half smile. "What do I know that they don't?"

"That you're the coolest person I've met in a long time."

"I didn't know that…"

"Now you do."

He flashed a huge grin at me, smudging the chocolate sauce on his cheeks. It started to drip and I snorted.

"There's something else though… this Friday."

"What's this Friday?"

"Cheerleading tryouts," I groaned. "Veda's going for it. If she makes the team, I'll have to start taking the bus or getting my mom to pick me up like every other day."

"The bus? Okay, that sucks. I mean, I've never been on a school bus, but I hear they suck."

"It's not the busses that suck, it's the kids that ride it. And Veda's going to make the team, and then she might turn into this big stupid piece of plastic. I really hope it doesn't happen. I don't care how mean it sounds."

"Hey, that would be kind of cool. You could put her in the Wax Museum and try to play her off as a wax figure."

Giggling, I nudged him he nudged me back and I looked at him. He grinned at me again, and I couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous he looked.

Penelope showed him no mercy during our fight. She'd pinned him down on the ground and covered his whole head with syrup so that she could spike his hair up, and after only a short while he had stopped fighting and just sat there laughing as she spiked his hair up as high as it would go. It was still like that, though some were starting to lean to the side. His face was painted like he belonged in some kind of tribe, and his shirt looked like it was made of whipped cream.

The chocolate syrup didn't make much of a difference on Mike and Penelope's heads, so Zac and mostly attacked them with whipped cream, and now they had what looked like black and white hair in the dim lights on my back porch. Mike's arms were completely drenched by the syrup, and Penelope commented that now he looked like he had Robin Williams's hairy, hairy arms. And you could barely tell what color his clothes were anymore. Penelope looked like she'd eaten someone, because actually, in the light, the chocolate sauce on each of our faces looked kind of like blood. So instead of looking like we'd done what we'd just done, we all kind of looked like we feasted on some person.

Mom was worried when we came home and told her about the plan. I introduced her to Mike and Penelope before we left, so she was expecting all of us at home and asked us what the rest of our plans for the night were. When Mike told her she didn't say much, she just left telling us she was going to get the hose out. She set it up for us as Mike and Penelope met Murphy, who seemed to really like them. Then when we came outside, Mom took the dog in and told us to give her our shoes and socks and jackets, saying she'd be ready for us with the hose and some towels afterwards. I had a feeling that she looked forward to attacking us with the hose.

Before she did, she told Penelope and Mike to sit with Zac and I. She found my camera and wanted to take pictures of us, so we all sat close together and flashed big smiles and poses as she took pictures. We probably looked completely insane. Then, without much of a warning, she turned the hose on, grabbed my box of animal crackers and started hosing us down. We ran around the backyard screaming while she sprayed the water at us and allowed the dog to chase us around. She didn't stop until our clothes and limbs were no longer dripping with chocolate syrup, because she refused to allow us into the house that way. Mom threw towels at us to dry off with, and then the others took turns in the downstairs bathroom washing their faces before they left - it was getting pretty late and it was a school night.

They all hugged me telling me about how much fun they'd had, adding that we had to get together sometime during the week and go to the movies or something. I looked forward to this as Zac hugged me last. I watched them drive off and then flew up the stairs to take a shower before I crashed on my bed into a dreamless sleep.

But the blackness that I slept to that night was not something that lasted throughout the week. Monday night after a tired day back at school, I had horrible nightmares that included fuzzy flashbacks and fake visions of torture. They got worse and worse as the week progressed until all that I saw when I slept were memories. The only night I got a break from them was that Wednesday, when Draco woke me up by nibbling on my fingers. He was hungry, so I went downstairs and opened a can of food to feed him half, but then I just put the whole thing out on the three plates because Pepper and Melinda showed up rubbing against my legs. After that, I went into Mom's room and crawled into her bed to sleep beside her.

I got the chance to be included in the last swim of the summer in Zac's pool before he had to close it up. Everyone was there - Zac, Mike, Penelope, Greta, Farrah, and me. We went swimming and had pizza then chilled in his basement to hang out and watch a movie. Other than that, the four of us that had the war at my house went to the movies and ended up seeing American Wedding. It was pretty funny.

By the end of the week, people had let up about the Baker Street thing and started to ignore me, which was more common during the school year. As much as I got teased for this or that, tons of people acted like I wasn't even there. I always had to move out of everyone's way or else they'd walk right into me, I slowly got squeezed out of lunch and water fountain lines, things like that. But this did nothing for how well I wasn't sleeping because by Friday my nightmares were so vivid that they woke me up at three in the morning. I'd sit up in bed scared out of my mind because my dreams were so real, it was like I was reliving what happened to me.

Friday was the twelfth. The big day. I met up with Veda at the twelfth grade lockers after a particularly boring day to wish her good-luck.

"You're not coming?" she asked, shocked. She pulled her hair back to tie it into a high ponytail. The darker hair underneath was still there as I was happy to see, but she never wore her hair up like that. It just didn't seem like her.

I stared at her, confused. "What?"

"You're not going to come and watch?"

"Oh… I didn't know I could."

"Of course! Come on, you have to come."

Did I really want to go and sit in the auditorium to watch a bunch of girls in short skirts flailing their arms and legs about, spouting dumb rhymes that started with 'ready, okay' and ended with crap about how loose their goose was. The idea made me feel queasy, and throwing Veda into the mix just made it worse. This was not my idea of a good time.

"Nah, I don't think so," I said slowly, hoping she wouldn't get mad.

Veda looked at me, and I could see her growing angry in her face. "You're seriously going to skip out on my tryouts?"

"Well, I just-I really don't feel good… I didn't sleep well last night, I just want to get home."

"I can't believe this!" she cried, glaring at me like I was someone she didn't know very well. It kind of threw me off.

"I… well, you know, you… you'll probably make the team, and then I can come to practices and games and stuff…"

"Whatever, don't bother," she growled, scowling at me.

She punched her locker shut and stomped off, her pom-poms shaking at her side. It was an upsetting sight to see, and yet it wasn't. Veda and I barely talked anymore. The most I saw of her anymore was at lunchtime when I stayed behind to join the twelfth graders and see her. We talked then about our random bullshit, but otherwise, she just seemed very indifferent to the idea of contact with me. She was very busy with practice for the tryouts.

Taking a deep breath, I turned around and walked the other way, hugging my books tightly my chest. I stared down at the shiny floor as I walked, avoiding people by stepping around their shadows. I felt even more alone among them now as I walked, knowing that the one person I got along with in that building was lost to me at the moment. How could I be that much of a screw up?

I debated turning around and showing up in the auditorium to show support, but… I just didn't have the energy for it. And plus, I didn't even support it, anyway. I didn't care about how bad of a friend it made me seem. This just wasn't a good idea to me, and I wasn't about to support something that could very well pull her away from me. It just didn't make any sense. The cheerleaders were fake; they were snobs and nothing like Veda. All they did was jump around at football games and then jump into bed with the players. Why did she want to be among them?

Shaking away the thoughts, I went into my messenger bag to get my cell phone out so that I could call Mom and make sure that she remembered to show up, but as I grabbed for it I realized I was missing my social studies text book and I had pages upon pages of homework to do for that over the weekend. So I forgot about the phone call for a few minutes as my made my way over to my locker bank to get it out.

When I got there, I stopped in the middle of the empty hall upon seeing Duncan Storke there, standing with a Shawna Bell between him and her locker as he flirted with her. Shawna saw me coming and glanced at me, and when he followed her gaze he grinned. He said something to her and she laughed as he walked away, coming straight toward me. Feeling fear, I spun around on my heel and rushed off in the direction I came from. As I turned a different corner to head for the front doors, I heard his footsteps pick up a quick pace. He was following me. What was he up to? What stupid thing did I do now that he needed to remind me about?

"Hey Assworth," he called with a laugh, and I started running down the hall. He still followed me, and when I glanced back he was running too. I felt my eyes and nose sting. I just wanted to be left alone.

I burst through the doors seconds later, out into the warm September breeze. The air would normally relax me and make me smile but I was robbed of that comfort by the asshole chasing me. I ran down the steps and circled the hackey-sackers, then stopped by a bench to look around for my Mom's car. I didn't see it, but I quickly spotted someone else's car. It was just like the one she used to have, except it was a deep green…

Suddenly, someone rammed into me from behind, sending my books to the ground and me to my knees. My skirt softened the fall and I managed to avoid being scraped, but the girls on the bench nearby laughed at me as I scrambled to put my books into my bag. Behind me, I heard a familiar laugh and knew that Duncan was the one who'd pushed me.

Tucking my hair behind my ears, I picked up my bag again without bothering with the straps and stood up to look at the familiar car again. And then this enormous feeling of relief fell over me, and I wanted to cry again because it felt so good. I felt like I was being rescued, because I knew right away that it was Zac's car - he was standing there with it across the street, leaning against the driver's side door. He saw me there the second my eyes found him, and his curious face put on a look of protective concern. He stood up straight and waited for a car to pass before he started crossing the street. Before I knew it, my feet were carrying me toward him.

Duncan still followed me. "Hey, where do you think you're going?"

"Fuck off," I mumbled, now feeling confident enough to just turn around and scratch his face off.

"That's really rude, you know. I'm trying to talk to you and you're just walking away." He put his hand on my shoulder to tug me back, and a second later everybody around the front square knew that he'd made a mistake.

"Get away from her!" Zac roared, as he approached us looking much more calm than he had sounded. Everything fell silent. The chattering stopped, people stopped moving, and the hackey-sack hit the ground with a quiet rattling sound. Zac looked at the people around me, that protective glare very obvious in his eyes. Duncan pulled his hand back and I heard his feet shuffle as he stepped away. When Zac reached me, he took my bag and wrapped his hand around mine.

"I'm serious," he said loudly as he pulled me closer to him. He didn't even have to pull; I stepped over to stand as near to him as I possibly could. He was looking at Duncan as he spoke. "What the hell is wrong with you? Keep your hands off her."

Duncan snarled at him as he walked away. With his arm around me, Zac led me back to his car. I was floating. People whispered as we passed. I didn't care.

He walked with me around to the passenger's side and opened the door for me. I put my bag on the seat and turned to him. He was looking over the top of the car, watching all of the people who were staring and following us with their eyes. When he noticed me looking at him he smiled at me briefly and shook his head. "I don't fucking like that guy. Are you okay?"

"I'm glad you're here," I breathed, nodding.

The smile returned to his face. "Yeah, I went to your house a little early again, and your Mom was just leaving to pick you up. I offered to do it and she gave me directions."

"How long have you been here waiting?"

"Ten minutes, probably. I was about to come up and look for you when that shit just happened… I didn't realize it was you until you got up. Man, seriously, I would just like to go break his fucking legs off or something…"

I motioned lazily toward the school. "Be my guest."

"So what happened, anyway?" Zac asked, tilting his head at me. "What was his problem this time?"

I shrugged. "I was going back to my locker to get a book I forgot, that I need for homework… he was there and he chased me away."

"Asshole," he muttered. "Did you get your book?" I shook my head. I was about to suggest that we just leave, but he grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the door before pushing the door shut. "Let's go get it, then."